Frustrated/Ignorance
11/23/2005 08:12 p.m.
I am so very flattered that one of my poems was selected as the POTD.

I am completely blown away by the one and only comment the poem has received today. It isn't commentary on my poem, or my writing, it is commentary on what this person's view of what should and shouldn't be POTD.

I drafted my PM response to this person carefully; I'm hyperparanoid about offending people here, more so than I am in real life, however I seldom make it my goal or intent to offend a person period (I have to be goaded by the person, and greatly antagonized, then I will resort to insulting a person's intellect, etc. it's a defense mechanism).

I have requested that this person's comment be removed from my poem, as it doesn't pertain to the poem or my writing, however, I seem to be messaging admin. as they are logging off... my luck,

In the meantime, I find that I feel insulted and offended by this person's comment, as if my poem doesn't deserve to be POTD simply because it has a Christian theme.

I thought that writing was about expressing yourself. So is it wrong that what I write would reflect my attitudes and beliefs?
I am currently Frustrated

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Up in Smoke...
11/15/2005 03:53 a.m.
My brain that is... it's fried again, simply because of... a whole lot of crap I guess, but tonight, mostly, I'm pissed off with my home mortgage company and their incompetence.

I have not patience for incompetence, idiots, etc, especially when I'm tired to begin with, but these fools have my home in their bank and my credit score under their thumbs!

These FOOLS! Because I mailed payments on both of my accounts in the same envelope to save a paltry .37 (I have a first and second mtg. 80/20) don't bother to notice that not only have I included two separate payment coupons, but have written different account numbers on each check. They just stick the whole shebang on the larger account, and then send me a past-due notice with my November 1st billing statement.

So I call these maroons, and supposedly they "fix" the mistake, credit the appropriate account, and inform me that, "we can save you the trouble of mailing your next payment if you'd like to make next month's payment by phone tonight... we'll only charge you one processing fee of $9.95". I almost fell out of my chair laughing at the buffoon! I mean this male donkey makes it out like it's my fault my account got messed up because I sent two payments in the same envelope and they didn't look at the account numbers, and then he thinks I'm fool enough to pay them $9.95 so that it doesn't happen again next(this) month, yeah right! I'm not MENSA material, but crap!

I quickly informed him that was quite alright, I was sure I could find another .37 stamp and mail the payments separately. Which I did.

And the checks cleared my bank October 25th for those payments, which were supposed to be my Nov. 1 payments.

Now I've received not one, but two phone calls saying I've not made my November 1st payment. I've told them both times that the payment has cleared my bank, and was told that I needed to call customer service, they couldn't help me because all they did was collection calls. I was also told that customer service was open until 9 pm in my area, but when I called the number I learned that customer service at 8:25 pm, I learned they actually close at 7 pm.

So to make a long story short... I'm Pissed! If I were a cat that had been thrown into a pool I couldn't be more pissed!

WTF has happened to customer service, quality control, and responsible employees?
I am currently Pissed Off

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Hallucinating? Maybe not
10/28/2005 07:27 p.m.
This is gonna be a long story, but should be pretty interesting.

Last year, when I was on hydrocodone I saw a figure of a woman in my bedroom. She was a light image... golden/yellow, almost transparent, but visible. At the time I shrugged it off as being a figment of my imagination brought on by a reaction to the meds.

But then I noticed that my dogs would (and still do from time to time) stare at the upper corner of my bedroom. They would (and again still do) come and stand in the doorway of my bathroom at my feet, look at me and then stare off at the same corner.

There were a couple of times afterwards that I thought I saw her, but I just ignored it and kept quiet. She wasn't bothering me, she wasn't being malicious, so let her do her thing.

A few weeks later my fiance saw the same figure in the hallway. He described to me what he had seen, and the description was almost identical to what I saw. He also said that there were times when he was sleeping in late that he felt someone "playing" with his feet, but he was alone on the bed, no dogs, no cats, just him.

There were a few strange things, like my figurines being inexplicably turned backwards, silly things disappearing (besides the TV remotes, those walk off all the time). But as I said, nothing malicious, so we came to the conclusion she was a guardian, just watching over us.

After my 13 yr old son returned home from the hospital he began "hallucinating"... he was on some pretty high doses of some pretty potent meds... he kept seeing a figure of light moving around the room. He swore it was on the sofa bed with him and that it was turning the angel figurines around. He kept us up for hours one night fussing about it. I told him it was his guardian angels, and to go to bed and say his prayers, and ask them to sit still so he could get some sleep. He still kept waking us up. My fiance went out and looked, but didn't see anything. My fiance stayed with him until he quieted down and fell asleep, but he didn't see anything.

The next day I called the Dr., told him my son was hallucinating, and they decreased his meds. by half. Two weeks later my son has still been seeing this figure.

Last night we finally got his mattress back in his room (we moved it out to paint while he was gone)and he slept in there. After he'd been in his room laying down for a while he came and told me... "Mom, I'm not seeing the lights in my room, it was only in the living room".

Bizarre.

We had elminated every possiblility of light illusions, made sure the computer monitor was off, made sure the fish tank lights were off, etc., etc. and he was still seeing this light figure "walking around" the room, from place to place, not over top of him sleeping on the pull-out bed, but around the bed... deliberate motion(?). He goes to his bedroom last night, with no window coverings, and he's not seeing it... hmmm... Maybe she just didn't realize where he was last night?

It's a true story, I swear my imagination doesn't work this well any more.

So.... what do you think?

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Liberating
10/25/2005 04:01 p.m.
To know that you don't have to do "this" forever... whatever your "this" may be.

For me, today... it's putting up with the beauracratic, political, butt-kissing, facade of the public education system (from the inside). I'm tired of the paper-work, tired of the "rules" changing every other week, tired of seeing students not getting the education, modification, treatment, etc. that they need and deserve, and mostly, I'm tired of being treated like a child myself by administration (both at my school and district-wide).

Write me a "ticket" (documentation for appraisal, review, etc) because I'm late to work because of a traffic tie up, caused either by an accident, an inept police officer directing traffic, or because the school district leased the indoor arena across the street from my school for an INS ceremony, and 5000 + cars are circling like vultures looking for a parking place.

Well I don't have to do stay at this school or in this district until I retire. I don't have to teach for the rest of my life; I can go back and get my Master's in counseling, or to become an Assessment Specialist, or in History; I can build a massage practice; I can do so many things!

I stay because I love working with the student's; I love it when you find that rare jewel with a thirst and hunger for knowledge and to be better. I stay because for now, this is comfortable, but it might not always be that way, and it is so comforting and liberating to know, to really know, to understand, that there are other alternatives.

So go ahead, make my day!
Write me up!?
I have something to write for you!
Fire me!?
Yeah, I'll quit and save you the trouble.

Life is full of adventures and I'll go on my nest one.

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Say it isn't so...
10/25/2005 03:26 a.m.
On the local NBC news tonight....

Craig Biggio's wife was smacked on the back of the head and had her hair pulled by a White Sox fan.

It was an interview with Craig Biggio and he said "You just don't do that to a Jersey girl, she chased him down and he was then arrested."


Unbelievable.... is that adding injury to insult?

And to smack a woman around? sheesh, pick on someone your own sex and size.

Disgusting
I am currently Dismayed

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hmm.. it's Monday
10/24/2005 08:39 p.m.
Well... Not much to talk about really.

Got to work today and there was no electricity in most of our school building, although the heat was nice and warm (it was about 45 outside when I got to school this morning and I had outside duty). Once the lights came on it got pretty darn chilly inside... what's that all about?

I got Mark's wedding ring this weekend. It was marked down too!. It's white gold with a row of diamonds (1/4 carat total weight) inset in the center.

I've actually looked (online) for wedding dresses... hmmm still too much to do!

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Ramblings on Friday October 21, 2005
10/21/2005 01:54 p.m.
Well... I have actually started looking into the graduate programs offered at universities within a reasonable commute from home. I would prefer not to have to give up my full-time teaching and benefits.

The "benefits" package is coming up for renewal. We have to begin making our choicess the beginning of next month.
Once again the district is changing medical coverage providers, and once more we are seeing a pretty significant jump in our costs ($140/month increase for myself and my boys...$345/bimonthly pay period). Thank God I don't have to cover an entire family! By the time the insurance, etc. was taken out I'd be taking up about $300/month! It's CRAZY! I can't speak for all other states, but Texas needs to seriously increase the pay for teacher's or we need to subsidize the health insurance more! Medicare recipients have a better plan/program than teachers, and teacher's make too much money to qualify for Medicare or for reduced medical insurance for their children!

Back to my Grad school plans... I guess since I'm getting serious that means I'm gonna have to take the GRE. I dread that! I hate tests like that, I never perform well.

I was also told by a co-worker that "they" don't like you to get your grad. degree from the same school you got your undergraduate. Well I'm not real sure who "they" are, but unless "they" are going to pay for my grad. school and unless "they" are also going to pay all of my bills, then "they" are just going to have to live with it. My Alma Mater is less than 70 miles away, there is also the possibility of taking some of the courses through "distance learning" at a college near me.... I could take evening classes during the year and still work, and my Alma Mater is one of the lesser expensive options I've found.

And the very BEST thing about today/this week?! My hometeam Astros have FINALLY made it to the World Series!

GO ASTROS

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Email to my son's school counsellor
10/12/2005 07:39 p.m.
*Names changed to protect the innocent and the not so innocent alike.

Context - I've had it with teachers in this school district making assumptions, not listening to myself and/or my son about his disability and not being understanding or sensitive to his needs. My son just returned to school Tuesday after more than a week's long hospitalization for depression. Despite the fact that I am an employee of this same district, I have been making my wishes and concerns known this year, and this one, so far has been the icing on the cake!

Mrs. Johnson,

I'm sorry if I seem to be a bother, but I have serious concerns aboutTommy's new TX. History class.

Ms. Andrews emailed me yesterday about Tommy's performance in class and not having his make-up work. I responded to her email and informed her that
a) Tommy lost memory of 4 days while hospitalized
b) He wasn't able to complete any assignments while in the hospital but that I would work with him every night
c) that Tommy is 504, and although he hasn't had a 504 committee meeting this year his previous accomodations should still be applicable, that if Washington Middle School has a CM lab it can be used as part of his accomodations.

When Tommy and I started working on his assignments last night I told him to get his books out. Tommy informed me that Ms. Andrews had taken his backpack, gone through it, and taken his textbook. Tommy was very upset that Ms. Andrews had gone through his backpack, as I am as well.

On what basis does a teacher go through a student's belongings? If she suspects a student of having contraband it should be handled by a principle. If she was looking for Tommy's work she should have asked him for it, or asked his permission to look for it.

I emailed Ms. Andrews last night (I cc'd the email to you), stating that Tommy said she had taken his textbook and could she please check one out to him ASAP.

Rather than just check a book out to Tommy as I requested she emailed me back that the book he had belonged to his previous teacher and that "Policy is you can not keep books from teachers you don't have."

If the previous teacher checked the book out to Tommy to take home, then Tommy is responsible for returning the book. If it's not returned then I am responsible for paying for the book. I don't understand where Ms. Andrews has a responsibility to take the book out of Tommy's backpack and turn it in. Her intentions may have been good, but the message of her actions has not been well received by Tommy and now by myself.

Tommy has made it very clear to me how much he dislikes this teacher, mostly because of the backpack incident, and he would rather have his previous teacher back. Tommy doesn't need any more stressors at this point, and I fear that this particular class setting is creating that for him.

I do not want to end up in a conflict with Ms. Andrews or any of Tommys's teachers, but I feel that Ms. Andrews is not being understanding of Tommy's situation or sensitive to his specific needs at this time.

I strongly feel that it would in Tommy's best interest to remove him from this class. Is there anyway possible Jared can be put back into the other Tx. History class?


Sincerely,

A Mother fighting for her son
I am currently Feisty

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Hurricane Rita Update
09/27/2005 09:15 p.m.
I'm back!

We lost power Friday night, and just had our power restored about an hour ago.

This wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that the everyone on the other side of the street from me, and an entire huge neighborhood all had their power back on Sunday night.

So, Sunday night when it was so hot that my youngest son was getting nose bleeds and we had to sleep on the front lawn just to get a little bit of a breeze, my neighbors across the street shown their headlights right in our eyes, pulled into their driveway, went inside and turned their air conditioner on... yes I had to lay on my grass and listen to their central A/C cycle the rest of the night.

Karma, it'll come back on them.

Anyway.. I thrown out everything that was in my refrigerator, scrubbbed it out with bleach, and now I must go get a little bit of milk, bread, etc. to get us through the rest of this week. We have plenty of canned goods.

I'll check back in later.

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Grey Skies
09/23/2005 11:42 p.m.
The clouds are coming in, it's also approaching dusk, so the sky is very grey.

I saw a squirrel gathering bird seed (we dump some on the ground for them)a short while ago as well as a morning dove.

I just heard a song bird as I started typing this.

I no longer expect the worst, although I'm prepared to stay here for days without electricity or water. We have about 80 gallons of water and lots of canned good, I just don't want to be smelling us after two days without A/C!

We have had live 24 hr. coverage of the storm as it approaches since Wednesday afternoon. Some of the radio stations have been carrying simulcast of the TV news stations.

I can't speak for LA now or during Katrina, but I know that here, our officials have been keeping everyone updated and doing all they can to make sure anyone who wants to get out gets out. And I do mean everything!

I thank God that I live where I do with the leaders that I have.

I am ashamed and appalled at Gov. Blanco's comments to the media yesterday "Anyone who choses to stay here ... make sure you put your social security number on your arm with permanent ink."

What a callous statement, and very reminscent of the tattoos that people received during the Holocaust.

I'm not very happy with our state and federal government. The Governor hasn't made a statement or an appearance in this area. The President had said he would be in Texas today, but instead he went to Colorado.

I understand the importance of keeping the President out of harms way, but there are plentiful places in Texas where he could have gone and not been threatened by the storm. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what is said when it's all said and done. I'm disappointed.
I am currently O.K.

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