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The Journal of Anita Mac

Another One for Maya
05/12/2017 12:31 a.m.
I still think about that Moment when your eyes stopped looking. I still wonder what was that last thing and how they found it so wanting. I stopped telling people that I miss you a while back. So constant that I'm rarely actively aware. It's there though. Every tattoo. Every bite of truly good food. Every Shema held in my head at night like a meditation on how I might have loved you. I hesitate to grant hindsight such romanticism.
I am currently Somber

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September
09/15/2014 11:45 p.m.
September cold
with no snow white
and still always my favorite.
I am currently Melancholy

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Just a draft
05/21/2013 12:53 a.m.
I worry that my words
convey too much,
and I worry that my worry
keeps them far from being enough.

And why do I think things through
and think things through
and think maybe you know
and do the same.
Or maybe I know you think
and do the same.

I look back and see
you living and loving on my level,
in my depths,
and we're so few and far between down here.
How could I just let you drift west?

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WIP
12/16/2012 06:50 p.m.
I've got a crick
in my neck
from hiding my face.

There were words fizzing up
in my reptilian brain
and I woke up one morning
able to taste your air from across the room.

But a thing I longed for years ago
(that dark place in your eyes that makes me feel lost;
your kiss on my shoulder as I drift off)
has become a page I'm unwilling to turn.

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