N/A
04/03/2005 02:31 a.m.

Someone once asked me to write a poem for them, and yet I can't seem to bring myself to do so. How can I explain to them that I just can't write off the spur of the moment, that I have to be inspired to write?

Another thought I've been having lately is that someone once told me that they thought I could do/be something great. I've been wondering how that could be. I've a fear of getting in the limelight, taking charge. I just want to be a common, everyday person. However, then I realized that its the common everyday person that does great things without really thinking about it. So maybe one day I will do something great, as long as I don't think about it.

Its' been awhile...
07/06/2004 01:48 p.m.
Okay, so I know I haven't posted anything new in awhile. Not making excuses, or at least trying not to, I've been a little busy. In the past month, I resigned my job in New Jersey, graduated from college (again), moved and got married. So my plate has been a little full. Plus I really haven't had the inspiration to really write anything. I'm now currently trying to find a job, and it hasn't been easy. So anyways I'm off to search again... TTFN!
I am currently Tired

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They come out of the woodwork...
12/15/2003 10:00 p.m.
Okay, so I know its cold outside, and the wind is chilly, but dang nabit if all the annoying stupid people don't come out to play... I don't mind answering questions, but to ask a question you know the answer to, and have someone show you how to do something, just so you don't have to do it, it is just downright agrivating. I've had two of what I call my problem children. One is a lady, now granted she's got some mental issues, but I'm not here to be her personal dictionary, not when she's got the names written right in front of her. Another is this guy, who drives me up the wall, and no matter how many times I correct him, he calls me by the wrong name, even when he hears someone else call me by my proper name... How hard is that... :::throws hands up in the air::: On top of everything the computers in the lab are running slow, and folks, the crowd is getting restless. I'm so sick of working, granted I usually work only 4 days a week, but due to being one man down on the staff, got help cover that person's shift... I'm working six days in a row... this past saturday-thursday... Right now I just want to scream, and I can't vent any other way, because its a computer lab, and its supposed to be quiet... well, except for the clicking of mice and the typing on the keyboard. So I think that's about it for now.... May vent some more later.
I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to my thoughts run laps in my head

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Oh Happy Days are here again...
12/04/2003 11:47 p.m.

Okay, so its exactly three weeks until Christmas, and my brother isn't leaving on Christmas day, he's leaving on the 21st... Anyway, I'm about ready to put him back on a plane and send him back. I love my brother, I love him dearly... but he's driving me NVTZ!!!! 3 driving able adults... 1 car... you do the math... it just doesn't work... its bad enough that I have to ask to borrow the car. Now he's back and wants to borrow it too. That is just one thing that irks me to no end. When he was my age... well, okay before then. Almost since he's been of driving age, my parents gave him the second family car his jr. year and he had possession of it up until he left for the military (so about 3 years). I'm now past that age, have a driver's license and basically have to constantly have to ask to borrow it. It drives me nuts.

Now, I really haven't been talking to one of my best friends for almost 3 months... and people ask me why. Well, up until now I've intiated the last 3 conversations, and frankly was tired of it. She knew where I was, and where to find me. Well, thanks to her b/f (who I'm friends with) we are now back on speaking terms, and since we both have busy schedules, we've set up a night so that we either call each other or hang out... This'll be the first night we've tried it so we'll see how things go.

My Christmas shopping is done, and I've just got two gifts to finish before I'm completely done. Oh, and school's done next week... okay, sort of. My professor still doesn't have a clue. So right now I'm bouncing off the walls because Dean got me an extra special gift for Christmas, something I've always wanted. So this is where I shall head off. TTFN!

Lost... Please come find me...
11/08/2003 01:09 a.m.

Okay, so its been awhile since I've written in my journal.

Here's what's going on in my neck of the woods. Back on July 29 of this year, I met a really interesting guy at one of the SCA events. We hit it off, and have been together since then. The last guy I was seriously involved with I thought was the one, but since being with Dean (that's his name) I've found that I was wrong. Dean is the love of my life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He's absolutely wonderful! Okay, enough of the mushy stuff.

School... The semester's been okay, except my Microeconomics professor is absolutely driving me up the preverbial wall. This guy can't do anything, and that includes teaching. He's late almost every day, and that's on the days that he does attend (at current moment he's missed around 5, and we only meet twice a week). I throughly enjoy my Business Law class though. That professor is awesome! I'm taking his Business Law II class next semester. I still haven't figured out what I want to do with the rest of my life just yet. :::sigh:::

Home... My brother is coming home for Thanksgiving and I can't wait to see him. I haven't seen him in almost a year since he's been overseas. However, he has to leave on Christmas day, so that's going to be kind of a downer, but so am I (I'm going down to Texas to see Dean) so it won't be too bad. My sister is growing up so fast... God, where does the time go... I mean it feels like I just started college last year, and now I'm in year 5....

Work... is as always. Doesn't really change that much. However, unfortunately, I"m going to have to give up this part-time job next year so that I can get a full time job with benefits since mine run out once I'm out of college under my dad.

PS as per last entry... everything has worked out just peachy

Starting to wonder...
06/07/2003 06:55 p.m.
I'm starting to wonder who I can really trust now days.  I was feeling a little weird about this guy I was hooking up with, so I talked to my best friend who I found out had some inside info, and had had that info for about a week and didn't bother to tell me. This was something that I would consider important and would have told the person involved almost immediately. Yet, she deemed it worthy to tell her fiance and another friend of ours, and I just happened to find out because I went to her first about how I was feeling towards this guy. On top of that I found out some info on the guy that I talked to my best friend about, and found out some info that I didn't find too appealing, so I e-mailed him about it, and am waiting for a response. These are two people I thought I had an open and communicative relations with, and come to find out that one or possibly both had been keeping something from me. Now I'm not sure what to do....
I am currently Odd
I am listening to my bird comfort me

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Why is it that when it rains it pours...
06/05/2003 06:27 p.m.
Currently I'm a little depressed and upset about this saturday (june 7). Here I was all set to go to the races with my family and watch the third leg of the Triple Crown via telecast, and come to find out I've already agreed to work. So that is blown out the window. That's Strike 1. Next I was "asked" (pretty much told) that I was babysitting my little sister, which I usually don't mind doing. I had completely forgotten about this when my best friend wants to do a girl's day out with some of our other friends sometime around or after 6 pm. So I'm all set for that and am then reminded that I have to babysit til Midnight that night, so that blows that out the window. Strike 2. However, there is a glimmer of hope on Strike 2, someone suggested that I take my sister along with me, which is fine by me, but I'm not sure whether it would be okay with everyone else. So this was a saturday I was looking forward too, I am now dreading... *sigh* thanks for listening to me vent.
I am currently Depressed
I am listening to my thoughts

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WHOPEE!!!! #2
05/14/2003 01:30 a.m.

Okay, lets try this again...

WHOPPEEE!!!! I got my new computer, I got my new computer... After saving up for almost 2 1/2 years, I've finally got my new computer.  So now I can actually type my journals when I'm in the mood, instead not being in the mood and having access.

UPDATE:  I've joined the SCA (not sure what this is, go here: www.sca.org) I am learning to fence on Wed nights which is a lot of fun, and then the first wed of the month there's dance class (and sometimes its even more fun just watching us try to learn the dances then it is actually learning the dances).  I attended my first event on April 12, the coronation of Roxanne and Darius. That was long but I learned a few things. Anyway, I am graduating on Saturday from college and then I'm going back in the fall and next spring to get another associates, this one in business.  That's about it for now... TTFN!

Update...
01/09/2003 06:53 a.m.

Well, when I last left off with my problems I wasn't sure about the school I was going to go to RIT. Well, I finally decided that I was going to take a year off and save up my money and do some traveling next year. I thought maybe the traveling might help me figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. So I was just peachy keen, and happy. Then this ugly thought came into my head. "If I graduate end of this term and not go to another school next term then I get dropped off my dad's insurance (which covers me until I'm 23 or out of college whichever comes first)." This was a very sobbering thought, on top of that my mom pointed out to me (cause I still live at home) that I would also lose another privilage... So that's just great, I get nailed with losing two things: one I need, the other I enjoy the privilage of having. So then I think, okay, that means I have to get a full-time job just to get the bene's. Now if I have to get a full-time job, that means I have to quit the part-time job that I have now (and I really like the job). So I looked online for a full-time job, but I'm not really sure what I want to do (hence the idea of traveling in the first place), so I figured hey, clerical work is something I'm good at (and even sort of enjoy at times) so why not try that area. That was great, there are plenty of clerical jobs in the area I live, only problem is they're not too close to my house (and just getting my license in Oct of 2002) I'm still a little terrifed to drive (at least by myself). So it's like I traded in one major problem for another... If anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears... Cause frankly I'm really starting to stress about this, and I still have one more semester to get through before I even graduate. Thanks for reading/listening. Until next time... TTFN!

Thought of the day...
01/09/2003 06:44 a.m.

The light steals my thoughts.

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