Really Happy
08/12/2003 02:22 a.m.
I have been so happy lately, not something that I have experienced in a long time.And if this guy that I really likes calls me, I will be even better. Went to Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard and been doing all sorts of stuff lately. My friends are happy and evened out and everything finally went from bad to good. Took some work, but it finally happened.
I am currently Perfect
I am listening to Why They Call It Falling - Leann Womack

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OY
03/21/2003 03:39 a.m.
Life has been so insane lately. To bounce from being in someone's life to being out so quickly....it just blows my mind. People are crazy, between, drinking, fighting and drugs my life has been turned upside down by everyone I know. I am a pretty laid back person, but when people start doing this junk around me I get freaked out and I don't know. Some stuff I can put up with, but others make me want to run in the other direction. I just convinced my friend to not move to Colorado which is a really good thing. But then last night my dog got hit by a car and I had to take the day off of work to take her to the vet because she has a broken tail and a bruised spleen. Sad Sad Sad, and I have been talking to an ex boyfriend which blows my mind. All I want is to be iwth someone who is going to treat me like a person, and not the way some of them treat me. I want everything in my life to change, but I just don't know how to do that......anyone know how?
I am currently Somber
I am listening to Downtime - JoDee Messina

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Life...Or Something Like It
02/18/2003 05:28 a.m.

My life could be a soap opera, I swear sometimes, I just don't know where I am at. I mean granted, I am half with a guy who is starting to warm up to my friends. He even called to see if he can meet them soon. That makes me really happy, but then I have his brother telling me that he is still with his ex-girlfriend. I know the ex and I am so tempted to go to her work and have a little vhat with her, but I wouldn't do that. I mean he will blow me off for a week or so and then come back as if nothing happened. And of course while he is gone I am usually fuming and convincing myself that I am through with him, an then he calls me and I forget how bad I feel until the next time, because after six years, I still melt at the sound of his voice. I love him so much, and if we could be together, and stay together I would be so happy.

And what is this weather that we are having. My Lord, I am sitting in my house looking out the window and the snow is up over my front tires, I can barely see my car. And we still have 12 more good hours of solid snowing. And of course my man is out there plowing in this. He keeps me on the phone because he is bored out there. I hate having him out there, it really scares the hell out of me. I hope they call a State of Emergency because I can't possibly get out of my driveway and get to work in the morning.

And my friends have to have crises and miscarriages and raging fits of jealousy. My life is a spout of junk right about now. I am so tired, but half the time I can' sleep because I have no idea how tomorrow is going to turn out, most likely bad. But on the bright side I absolutely love my job. Well that is all I have for tonight. I am going to sleep soon.

Love
01/22/2003 06:43 a.m.
All I have to say is, I don't know what changed, but there is something different, a new air about him and it makes me love him more now than I have ever loved him before. He is so perfect to me, and I don't think I can ever feel the same about anyone else. My heart beats for him, he is the light in my life that keeps me going. He is all the love in my heart.
I am currently Loved
I am listening to I Don't Want You To Go - Carolyn Dawn Johnson

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Tears
01/06/2003 06:09 a.m.
Tears are welling up in my eyes. But these are tears of joy. I am so happy. The one person that I love with all my heart was here tonight, and there was just something different in the way he looked at me. I love him so much. Just the way he looked into my eyes, I think things may finally be getting there. His eyes, they were so different tonight. So filled with love. I have his face memerized. I will never forget that look.
I am currently Loved
I am listening to Amazed - Lonestar

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Confused
12/26/2002 07:49 p.m.
I just don't know what to do these days. Justin played me bad and now is calling all the time again and is getting seemingly jealous when he sees me with other guys. And yet when he calls I still melt, and I miss him so much, and I love him so much. But then there in Vaughn, who I am told has a crush on me, and I like him very much. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel completly torn between two wonderful people. If Justin could make up his mind about me, it would make my decision so much easier. And then my cousin tells me to not trust Vaughn, which I don't know why yet, she has "stories" to tell me about him. I just wish I knew for certain how each guy felt then I could base everything on that. I have to go now.
I am currently Disillusioned
I am listening to Darryl Worley - I Miss My Friend

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Strangeness
12/08/2002 06:20 a.m.
It is funny how things work out sometimes. The guy you think you love, stabs you in the back, and then you randomly run into someone you haven't seen in years, then wind up remodeling a house with her and some of her friends and then you realize you are good friends with her roommate who you haven't seen in years. And then you totally click with  your friends brother and find  yourself helping him paint a house tomorrow and have him wanting you to spend the night. Creepy how things work out. Who knows maybe I will finally let go of Justin and be with someone like Vaughn.
I am currently Clueless
I am listening to Anything But Ordinary - Avril Levigne

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Frozen
11/27/2002 04:53 a.m.
Dealing with my life one day at a time. That is the only way in which I can survive until tomorrow. I am scared and vulnerable, but to you I may seem normal. I must be a great actress, because no one can see that I am breaking. My boyfriend can't see it, my friends cant' see it, my parents can't see it. I try to lie to myself....it never happened....it was a dream, you will move on. I am falling on the mercy of God now, because there is no where else for me to turn. I am physically and emotionally in pieces. All I want is to lie in my bed in my boyfriends arms and feel safe. Safety and trust is what I am striving for. Right now, I don't feel that I could ever be safe again. I just need a hug.
I am currently Gross
I am listening to I Gotta Get Through This - I don't know who it is by

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Love.......ohhhh it's so close....
11/11/2002 02:39 a.m.
I am soo ..... I don't know what I am right now....I am happy because I am finally with the guy I love, but I am sad because he moved all the way to Worcester. But I keep telling myself....at least it is Worcester and not Bangor, Maine like it almost was. But he isn't next door anymore...which makes me very sad. But I saw him today and he will call me when he gets all settled in. I love him so much. My mother asks why I am always smiling, It is too soon to tell her, because he has hurt me tremendously in the past and she wouldn't be too happy about this. But I am so happy. So I am keeping it to myself and a few trusted friends until time permits that it comes out. Who knows....I really believe that this is the man I will marry someday.
I am currently Safe
I am listening to Underneath It All - No Doubt

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Cloud Nine
11/07/2002 03:42 a.m.
Cloud nine....hmm ever wonder why, when you are so in love they say you are on cloud nine...hmm...maybe it is the most beautiful of all the clouds....if that is the case, I myself am floating up there right now. How else would you feel when you have waited five years for that one person to wake up, and see you and he finally opens his eyes and makes the move you have only ever dreamed of. I have never been so happy in my entire life. I hope it never ends.
I am currently Loved
I am listening to When You Lie Next To Me - Kellie Coffey

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