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~not again~
by Adrian Fosterwhat i say and do
to make you see
trying not to resurface
the weaker side of me
the beauty of your face
the elegance of your touch
a reminder of our connection
suddenly is too much
but i do what i do
in the hopes that you'll hear
my calling to your heart
my want to have you near
your acceptance of my advance
is only momentary at best
once given my attention
try and tear the heart from my chest
and this happens as a cycle
you don't think i see
i'm not letting this happen
you're not getting the best of me
it was you
and only you
who walked out
on our memories
01/25/2017
Author's Note: I stopped paying you any mind and you became really concerned/upset, because nobody else can have who was once yours. Enough as to go to my house and my place of work,, to talk or whatever. Although, you said you didn't know what you were going to say to me. You were just upset that I had moved on and you made yourself very present around me,, for a while. You stated that you couldn't believe that I moved on so quickly,,(wtf???,,we had already had this talk at the hospital when I came to visit you while you were having your iron infusion. and that was weeks beforehand),,and crying while you did so. I had a hard time saying what I said to you but I let you know that I was letting you go. I told you that I just couldn't do this anymore because of your negativity and I wasn't happy. Oh did the fake tears start rolling. Just like the tears you put on for show in front of the judge. Yes, I know about that. ;o) You also said that you hadn't been with anyone else since me. That, per my response, "you were saving yourself for me"...lol..right...lol. If there's one thing you've taught me, as a result of your flirtatious/promiscuous ways, it's that you're not exclusive to any one man. Said that I should friend you on FB "now that we are good". We were "good" before this but you chose to play stupid games. Even stopped at my workplace a few more times, held my hand and told me I'm a good man and that you think of "us" often. Well, things didn't work out between her and I. And now that you know that, you have no interest in me at all...lol. I find it funny how some things never seem to change,,no matter what the circumstances.. ...You still play your games,, and tell your lies. Showing YOUR possessive and jealous side,,both of which I accept, mind you. And I see right through you. But, as you know, I still love you. Nothing can define my love for you. And there's no need for me to tell you I still want you or that I need you,,,but I won't chase you. That's most definitely not worth my time. Chasing you would only make you want to play your games even more, and make your head that much bigger. And now you have your new warehouse friends, who I'm sure you've made up more than enough stories about me to, to give you ins and outs on how to mess with my mind. And God knows you have that "warehouse mentality" now. I have no regrets being with you but regrets of how things turned out. I cared alot about you, still do, and there wasn't anything I would not do for you. You know that. I more than appreciated the things you did for me. How many times I'd sit with you for your iron infusions. Sat with you for hours for your blood transfusion, holding your hand, even when you fell asleep. Dropped everything I was doing to rush to your aid after you'd been in an accident. Looked everywhere for a job for you, because you were bored at home. Even tried getting you a job at my workplace(Kraft) during that time. So many things. Nothing I would not do for you. Even stopped by your mother's place after I got out of work in the morning because you wanted me to stop by. I didn't think it was a good idea but you insisted. Your mother didn't like it at all but, like a immature child, you lied to her about what was going on. Lied to her so much that she hated me. Bought you jewelry. Rings, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, watches, etc., out of love for you. Doubt anyone knows about those things either. You made sure that everybody only knew about what you "contributed". Well,,I can't really say everybody because you tried to hide me as best you could. But, you did not respect anything about me and still don't. I was just a way out of your situation with your husband and the kids. How did you put it? "I always do things I shouldn't do and worry about it later". That was one of the first things out of your mouth before you started coming over to my place. I can only imagine what/who you've done thus far since you and I. So, in short, I ask myself "why would I want someone like that in my life?" Answer?...I don't. It is what it is,,the hell with what it was. I don't want to always have to be second-guessing myself and doubting your stories. I will miss you though. Did you ever put yourself in my shoes to see how your actions were affecting me? I doubt it. Because of your selfishness. The only care you had was not losing your man-toy...and making more on the side. WHat a sad stOry we weRE. An even sadder story you are with the things you do. Why? You are so full of shit, it isn't funny. But, at the same time, it is...lol.
Posted on 01/25/2017
Copyright © 2024 Adrian Foster
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