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Standing beside Myself

by Adrian Foster

We talked, we laughed, we got along so well
You wanted more, a lot more
But, you were married
Verbally seperated
But still married
And still living with your husband
And three children
The kids did not bother me but the marriage did
That played a big part in my mind
I knew it was morally/religously wrong
You really didn't have a concern
As to the right or wrong of the situation
You knew what you wanted
So much as to say "I get what I want"
You persued and persisted and insisted
You provoked and persuaded
With your seductive mannerisms
I gave in after time
But ended it several times as well
Because I knew it was wrong
And I'm a God-fearing man
Although, you laughed at the thought
You turned your back on your children
To be with me
You lied
To be with me
You even lied to ME
To be with me
You spent countless dollars
To be with me
Because you said you loved me
And so soon too
I wasn't in the same frame of mind
As you were, at the same time
But, you won me over time
And persistence
I asked you to get to a divorce
If you were serious
About me
You didn't care
I told you I didn't want to be known
As the "Homewrecker"
You didn't care
I told you to be discreet
You didn't care
I'd tell you not to come over
You didn't care
You'd knock on my door profusely
You didn't care
Scream at the top of your lungs
Open the fucking door!
You didn't care
So many times that happened
You didn't care
I said I'd call the police
You didn't care
You'd lay on the back porch and sob
So I'd feel sorry for you
You'd get what you wanted
Satisfaction
Through all this I trusted you
And held you closest to my heart
You always liked attention
And knew how to get it
But you went about getting it from me
The wrong way
Causing fights
Telling me lies
Telling one-sided stories Of you and I
To our mutual friend
But she stabbed me in the back
Because she's your best friend
I hate her for that
But she's no angel either
Because she's done the same damn thing
As you have with another man
But I still feel sorry for her
Because she has to put up with
Your drama and lies
Anyway
It's been two long years and some months
Gone by, and wasted
Just want you to know
I know I'm not perfect
I'm not a saint
By any means
But I was always true
To you
In every way
And you always had 100% of me
Whereas I was given 25% of you
I asked you of one thing
In the beginning
Please don't ever lie to me
No matter how small
Because you'll open a can of worms
And ruin it for yourself
You couldn't resist
And look at us now
The really bad thing
And fucked up thing
Is that you live a block and a half
Up the road from me
On the same damn street
And,, I still love you
Damn you
For all the shit you've pulled
With me
Against me
But
I'll pray for you
And your selfish ways
As well as myself

04/17/2014

Author's Note: To ~L~ ....Just venting... Update 6/2/2016: You're doing it yet again and I can't wait til the day comes when your, and now your husband's, lies catch up with you in this town. Or anywhere for that matter. One item I left out,,,you wanted me to get you pregnant in order to bring on a divorce or speed one up,,if you actually were to go through with the one YOU SAID you "discussed" with your husband. I'm glad I'm not your fucking punching bag anymore and I'm glad I'm not still under that rock you left me under so long ago. You know the one. The one you still think is there. You should really get over yourself. That's not a good thing,,never was. I just put up with it back then.

Posted on 04/17/2014
Copyright © 2020 Adrian Foster

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 04/17/14 at 11:46 PM

Just venting or not, excellent conveyance of the messiness of affairs, complicated by divorce or lack thereof, when the love is imbalanced, and related collateral damage. The fact you still live so close to one another, only adds more drama, irony, tragedy to the story. Well done! PS: Not sure if the arrow at the end of each line is necessary.

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