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Lost in my head

by Jennifer L Banks

I sit and think of you,
I have such melancholy memories
fluttering around in my head,
and the tears just flow with ease,
that's why I'm so blue.

I read letters from last year
Conversations about hunting deer.
Things you said, I want to hear again
Like, "Jen.... where ya been?"

They keep me safe, I remind myself
and they always make me cry.
This boy from 7th grade,
now this balding facebook guy.

I want to yell and scream and dream
Of the good times, in my mind I glance
I talk to God too much you know....
I wonder if There's any chance
That's you'll come back to me.
Some silly quiet girl you knew,
who was as shy as she could be...

Thinking of you just doesn't make sense.
It was a weekend in November
Just one, and then your fence. I have much regret.
I need to put you away, take down the picture
frame, the duck, the photos and just forget.

But I love you, something my heart won't heal.
A severed hole in my chest, broken and real.
Why did I do this to myself, Left to fend,
why did I let you in?
My lowered walls, met that little boy grin,
I believed all you said, from beginning to end.


Posted on 04/10/2012
Copyright © 2020 Jennifer L Banks

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 04/10/12 at 03:08 PM

Sharp, confessional and impressive from start to finish.

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