Ask The Burning Questions

by Tim D Livingston

If I were to be honest with you,
I ask myself the questions that create entire religions.
What happens to me when I die?
The answer could change everything about the way I live.
It’s easier to write off the believers as hypocrites.
To say that faith and science cannot coexist.
But no one can tell me what to believe
or how to think.
The question must be answered by myself.
Am I really by myself?
Is there an intelligent designer?
And if so,
what would such a being have to do with me?
Because if God is real and he or she or it
created life
then maybe they get to define it.
For all of nature runs by a predefined set of rules.
The balance is so delicate.
If the tiniest mechanism runs out of place
my own blood would cease to clot.
And even with free will
my actions have consequences.
I may be held accountable to someone at sometime.
What happens to me when I die?

Science alone gives me room to be in control.
My existence is a result of time and coincidence.
I can do what I want, and nothing matters in the end,
except what is relevant and relative to what I choose to believe.
With this line of thinking I wonder,
is this all there is?
Nothing really has any meaning.
What is keeping me from suicide?
And I understand the emptiness of relativism,
emperical theory, humanistic philosophy,
and all conclusions that do not cause me to believe
that there is something greater than me.
God is not an acceptable answer for the scientific process
and rational philosophy.
He cannot be directly measured
or tested in a controlled environment.
But if I look under a microscope
the complexities of earthly things cause me to ask,
“What are the chances that something came from nothing?”
Mathematically it's staggering.
I study the odds and shake my head.

Either way is a leap of faith it seems.
If I were to be honest with you,
a relative stance,
another cold, sterile scientific theory is inadequate
to fulfill what I need inside.
It's not enough to be comfortable all the time.
I will throw the debates and meaningless conversations to the wind.
I need a mission like Dr Martin Luther King and Sir William Wallace.
Willing to die for what I believe.
But if I can't truly be alive
then take my life.
There must be something more.
Something worth living for,
something worth dying for,
a fire that brands my soul with identity.
If it's there, and I believe it is,
I will ignite the atmosphere.
I’m no preacher or classroom professor.
I’m no hair splitter.
Atoms are what I prefer.
Call the UN. I'm going nuclear.


Posted on 08/13/2010
Copyright © 2023 Tim D Livingston

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Charlie Morgan on 08/13/10 at 11:00 AM

...Tim, another good un...emptiness of relativism...tooooo cool. @63, i don't know nuttin' but kierkegardian leaps of faith, you wise man, ug!

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