living for purpose
by Lauren Singer
generally speaking life does get the better of us sometimes. you forget to catch your breath sometimes, and look at your feet, talk to yourself out loud in that humiliating humbling way that makes your skin crawl, but relieves you. saying it to the room with no one watching some how makes it more real and that much more suitable. there is reason and time enough to worry about many things. the coat hangers and the empty cupboards, the unkempt and the disarray, the oil heater and the citronella candles, the new curtains and the wiper blades.
sometimes you just have to catch up with yourself and really lose your shit to recover it at all. to get on your hand and knees and bawl into the earth's surface because that's when you know you mean it. and you get over it. eventually you take the next step towards understanding the balance. it's a matter of knowing how far you can go without reverting back to six year old delusions and fantastical play ink drawings on kneecaps and running around in the grass until the world spins out of control and its only when you can hover over your own body do you believe that it's really there. and laughing until it hurts means that even through the pain we can laugh and falling on our asses is meant for the purpose of shaking off the dirt and keep on moving.
we should watch the children more, left to their own devices, lingering behind crowds of overstuffed shirts and pointed fingers. you watch them close and they're drawing maps of the world with intent to discover every second like the next one never needs to come.
Posted on 07/19/2007
Copyright © 2020 Lauren Singer