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because you asked me why i don't have a full-lengthed mirror
by Lauren Singerbecause i'm dimpled and drooping,
squinty-eyed and sagging,
yellow-toothed and lumpy.
because i can't look at myself naked
without shuddering.
because i immediately cover myself
in front of a mirror to avoid the horror of it.
because i'll go on exercise binges,
starvation mode only for the satisfaction
of protruding collarbones.
i won't wear anything above my knee
because i can feel my thighs rub together.
i cringe.
because i compare myself
to every waif-like girl who i wish i was
and hide behind my hair that's grown so long.
because i don't understand what you see in me,
because i live and breathe this ugliness i can't escape.
because i'm never satisfied and i cannot change.
because i'm trapped inside this body-hell.
so when you tell me that i'm beautiful,
ask me why i'm so quick to disagree,
it's not because i want your pity.
this is just what i see. 07/09/2006 Posted on 07/10/2006
Copyright © 2024 Lauren Singer
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Lacy D Phillips on 07/10/06 at 07:43 PM Honest and refreshing with a few flashes of really good imagery. |
| Posted by Julie Adams on 07/14/06 at 04:17 PM I loveed EVERY line, but moreso I loved what lies at the heart of this piece, b/c even if the subject isn't content with what she sees, at least she has an awareness of herself, and does not deny her truest feelings, no matter the interior pain-- a COURAGOUS confessional...the mirror, in many ways, cannot contain all that this poem does...well, well done!!! A pleasure to read, peace to you, *jewels* |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 07/14/06 at 05:56 PM Good reminder that we all have to deal with our physical imperfections, especially when looking in a mirror. In my own case, a great way to keep my vanity in check as the lines on this face grow ever deeper in middle age. |
| Posted by David R Spellman on 07/21/06 at 01:57 AM Swan Lake... no ugly duckling here! |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 07/21/06 at 03:42 AM Someone loves you as you are. That's very special. I hope you can too. |
| Posted by Eli Skipp on 02/12/07 at 12:27 AM The last line is so easy to relate to. Cheers! |
| Posted by Kristi Paik on 08/30/07 at 01:26 AM You made me cry here. I know every single feeling you just described. This is def. going into my faves. Thanks Lauren for being able to express most of our (women) insecurities. |
| Posted by A. Paige White on 01/16/08 at 04:04 PM I just love how your writing talks to so many of us, women. Why pretend what a man's eye sees/perceives is less than what it is? How many are led down an ocular path? Why else would playboy be what it is with the revenue it has if it had no basis... Yet... some really are different (and some grow into seeing with their heart more than their eyes over time). This is a wonderful read. |
| Posted by Joan Serratelli on 03/05/09 at 05:22 PM I think every woman (and some men) feel this way. Nobody is ever satisfied with their body. I've learned over the years that if someone gives you a compliment, take it. You are beautiful in someone else's eyes- be grateful for that and believe that he means it! Good write! |
| Posted by Meghan Helmich on 11/15/11 at 04:48 PM Ain't it the truth? |
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