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My intensity

by Jennifer L Banks

I hate my intensity
I think it gets in the way
It runs me right into trouble
Right into that abyss
If I open my mouth, forget it
Never a second chance
To redeem myself

My ideas and my mind
Go 100 mph tumbling speed
Earth bound crashing down
And I cut the brake line.

I always think they understand
I realize that’s a lie
I scare them and they go away
When all I want to do is share
Instead I lock my doors behind me
And up and disappear.

I don’t like making friends
I cannot trust the world
Some kindred spirit
Another intense person
To stop me from bolting away

I know I shouldn’t be so friendly
I know I shouldn’t share
I know because I fight myself
Then I do it anyway

I don’t know what to do about it
Take some pills and sleep
Get high into the azure sky
Until I lose my mind?

But every time it happens
Someone interesting comes close
To share some part of me with them
And I only chase them away.
It’s what I do best I guess……

I’m ashamed of my intensity
Yet it’s where my creativity dwells
A fire brought out of me
And everybody loves it until it burns them.

I feel so bad being the way I am
This high libido and emotional mind
This fire unquenched desire becomes free
When someone stirred the ashes
If I could stop my intensity I would
But then part of me dies too…..

07/31/2005

Author's Note: It's just raw emotions.....

Posted on 07/31/2005
Copyright © 2020 Jennifer L Banks

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Emma Turtle on 10/29/09 at 03:37 PM

I’m ashamed of my intensity Yet it’s where my creativity dwells A fire brought out of me And everybody loves it until it burns them. I love these lines and the rawness!Good read!Thanks!Emma

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