I went out to have drink
with some of my old buds
We thought that we would play some pool
while knocking back the suds
The music was a blarin’
My friend said “ain’t that cool”
I looked where he was pointin’
There was a gal upon a bull
It didn’t have no horns or tail
It was powered by a switch
and when this fella flipped it up
The bull began to pitch
The gal was slidin’ back and forth
It was such a sexy sight
I added a hoop and then a holler
as the crowd cheered in delight
When her ride was finished
She climbed down smilin’ wide
Then the fella at the switch
Said “Who’ll be next to ride
I looked out amongst that crowd
at all them pretty gals
then chugged my bottle empty
and smiled at my pals
I gave the man two dollars
then sat down in the seat
Next thing I knew I was looking up
starin’ at my feet
I picked myself up off the floor
wishin’ I could hide
with a little bump upon my head
and a big dent in my pride
My buds they were all laughin
having fun at my expense
It was then I spoke those fateful words
that I’ve regretted since
“Boys, I might have been thrown off
but I ain’t lost this fight
I’ll have a few more beers and then
I’ll ride that bull tonight”
So I drank a couple beers
and played a game of pool
but I couldn’t sink the eight ball
while thinking ‘bout that bull
I reached into my pocket
pulled out the price to ride
and when I paid that fella
he just shook his head and sighed
I took the rope into my hand
and hollered “Let ‘er rip!!”
but half way between my yee and haw
I landed on my hip
I limped off and found the bar
and bought another beer
I was gonna ride that bull
and make the gals all cheer
I finished up that bottle
(Well, okay maybe two)
then pulled out my last ten dollars
and said “That bull and me ain’t through”
I went up and stood in line
and when it came my turn
I said keep your hand right near that switch
‘cause I got ten to burn
Stupid is as stupid does
(I heard that in some flick)
I guess I learned my lesson
I just didn’t learn it quick
Between my money that I’d spent
and all that I could borrow
I never did ride that thing
swearing “Ill be back tomorrow”
but I won’t go ‘cause here I sit
with an ice bag on my crotch
and ridin’ bull just ain’t as fun
as it must’ve been to watch

mike loftis
z

08/31/2004