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the very rare phyllodes tumors

by Dawn Davidson

this is what i have a struggle with...means leaf pattern in latin

for eight months, come january i got my old oncologist i had almost 20 years ago well all
the other doctors were pretty much thinking this is a sad story

dr. gertler comes in, smile on his face, knows this beautiful ugly and knows how
to get me better, and so it goes

no chemo, little radiation, a pill a day, takes the estrogen down.this is breast tumor that
blows up very quickly, feels like a small mountain though i do manage to cycle etc,do some yoga moves dance, it empties the pollution through it
hospital are crazy and disorganized places, never get it right, and sitting on their turf,
like angels that have lost their way, accept for the professionals they are well tuned

letrozole is the name, and my nurses and doctors are amazed at how quickly i am healing,
will be in california soon at my family's house, for kayaking...and no side effect, all is well where well is all

i think it is the straw bale house, that i will be putting up on some land i am buying, always planning, always painting, need an art gallery to sell my work, an island to cycle on
and fish, city have become zombie lands, talk of nothing, on a merrygoround, of memories and regret....not for me

so i guess, although this type has no physical pain almost, and all the marijuana that people gave and sent me, and tincture, moved me along, i am not just the look back type...and all the nurses encourage marijuana also, better no pain, the body knows

hand building in clay at the art school, working to regain my strength

so the silver lining in this situation has revealed it's self, on so many level, as it works itself out of me, i continue to be amazed at my indifference to suffering, as the great reveals itself to me, and soon i will be done, looking for the stars that wake me in the middle of the night, and graciously call me into my future...

and a big hug to dr gertler, who never made a horror movie of it but kindly just uses his brain to unlock this mystery in women, and strangely enough his father was a painter...

one of those real healer, with me second time around his life gives life smart and charming

it is like 2 per cent, 1 in 100,000, just one of those techo diseases but once you beat it, it is long gone all the cells rebuild themselves, and seal the entrance off as the enemy has been revealed


Author's Note: to share the experience, which is another voyage interior wars, but the doc and marijuana tincture, pretty much vamp this tumor at it's source hope all is well, where well is all family bought me a ticket to california, soon

Posted on 03/13/2018
Copyright © 2018 Dawn Davidson

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 03/13/18 at 04:20 PM

Nice to see you posting again. A courageous piece in how you deal and share your current journey, so that others may relate and learn. I feel happier vibes here, which in turn make me and our friendship happy. Hope you make it to California. Just keep an eye open if in the ocean...the Great Whites are more plentiful down there. xo

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 03/14/18 at 03:45 AM

So good to read you again, Dawn. Such a unique journey, this one, and you share it completely. Here's to your successful treatment and to your future.

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 03/14/18 at 11:31 AM

Great to see you back again, Dawn. My prayers are with you my dear friend, dear poet, missed you a bunch and your work. Thank you for this poem that you make of your life.

Posted by Brian Francis on 03/17/18 at 03:16 PM

I am honored that you share this with us. It has a substance that can be painful to endure in the writing. The flow was nice and natural. I also appreciate the cannabis story line. It is amazing stuff. Hope the writing was cathartic. Thanks - for this piece, I love it for the strength shown during personal tribulation.

Posted by Glenn Currier on 03/21/18 at 05:35 PM

Hi Dawn, I had been away from this site for some time as well, and glad to be back here with old friends including you. Your journey is beautifully revealed in the poem. I especially enjoyed this: "all is well where well is all." Poetry is for me an indispensable way of coping and processing. It was healing to me to read your piece for it affirmed the grace there is in opening self to other fellow travelers. Thank you for the exquisite gift my dear.

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