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I Met Brian Lilley Today

by Chris Sorrenti

Who or what pray tell
you may ask is a Brian Lilley?

I first saw him on TV
a year or so ago
part of the new Sun News Network
senior correspondent on Parliament Hill
a welcome breath of common sense
amid high level bureaucrats
“entitled to our entitlements”
left wing purveyors of the Nanny state
the channel as a whole appealing strongly
to my fiscal conservative nature

I was at the local pet shop
picking up food for my cats
and in walks this couple
who announced to the clerks
they had bought the wrong dog food

A huge man
holding the bag
as if it were radioactive
looming at least 6 feet tall
above me
blocking my access to the door

I looked him up and down
then into his face
and immediately
something connected
hard to recognize at first
used to seeing him clean shaven
in dapper jacket and tie

Maybe it was the T shirt
shorts and sandals
two days worth of growth on his face
but yes
I was 70% certain it was him

Never being one for protocol
or formal introductions
when safe
I let my impetuousness out of the bag
I looked into his eyes
and he mine
for good or bad
quickly realizing his identity had been compromised
as I blurted out
like some star struck News groupie
“Are you Brian Lilley???”

He nodded “Yes” with a debonair grin

“Oh my God!
I watch you all the time on Sun News
Great program!
Great channel!”

“And you are???” he asked
in return
shaking my hand
I gave him my name
with a humble smile and nod of the head
but was too shell shocked
to say anything more

“Nice to meet you”
“And you as well”

Then he moved aside
to let me pass to the door
I walked down the mall
towards my next errand
like a cat who has swallowed a canary

And Brian
if you happen to read this
there’s one thing I should have told you
about me
I’m recently retired after 35 years
working at Environment Canada
in Records Management
and I could tell you stories
that would turn your blonde hair grey
but I’ve been sworn to secrecy
and it’s a trust I will not dishonour

Suffice to say
I may be a tree hugger
but ain’t no Eco-nut
I’m behind you a 100%
on the incandescent light bulb thing

© 2013

840 hits as of October 2021


Posted on 07/26/2013
Copyright © 2021 Chris Sorrenti

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 07/27/13 at 10:25 PM

I'm impressed the guy actually asked you YOUR name. You've got a good eye to see him through the weekend attire and stubble. No fair tempting us with that 2nd to last stanza - maybe some hair raising poems from you??

Posted by Cassandra Leigh on 07/31/13 at 12:50 AM

The ending to this is fantastic, I smiled. Great vignette piece.

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