we have made mistakes together,
you and i.
i am not sorry, because in the morning light
of past advances i do still love you.

you have seen me at my worst,
flailing and indecent, breaking glass
and clinging to your neck like a dying swan.

and you have not left me.
i have grand illusions of resisting you,
of keeping you at bay or avoiding the
full-bodied trance that is your warmth.

i know that you are bad for me,
that you are often overlooked as
a temporary fix to those ill-timed complications
trampled like dust-bunnies and swept away,

i still find reasons to be true to you
and with blurry-eyed recognition
to announce to those passing judgment
that you are what works for me right now.

people have inquired,
the soundness of my mind when speaking of you,
knowing that my devotion is one-sided and that
in the tumult of our experience,
you will not be there for me at my most fragile.

i know this.
my expectations of you are temporary, at best.
i am not a fool, but i have seen your glow
from across the room and had you been a better partner
you would shun my advances but i
know that you are for me.
toxic as you are to my lips,
deadly as you are to my body,

i cannot quit you.

because, truly,

my black velvet darling,
my bottom shelf lover,
my full-bodied canadian heartsong,
my amber waves of grain,

though life may lead me astray with promises of johnny walker blue,
the whiskey of my soul belongs to you.

11/17/2011

Posted on 11/17/2011
Copyright © 2024 Lauren Singer