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iron knees

by Elizabeth Jill

 


I found you
carrying the shock of war
like Atlas
with iron knees
disjointed
while the world exploded
running out of truth

you stood
upon its ragged edges
pinned to the hope
of another close call

pausing
as the earth grew
another olive branch
because you are in it


I lost you
carrying the shock of war
like Atlas
with ironies
disjointed
while the world exploded
running from the truth

I stood
beside your ragged edges
clinging to the hope
of another close call

waiting
as the earth found
another olive branch
because you are in it








12/07/2007

Posted on 12/07/2007
Copyright © 2019 Elizabeth Jill

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by A. Paige White on 12/07/07 at 06:35 PM

Beautiful ironies in iron knees! Makes me think about the iron in my dusty knees seeking for the best of all destinies.... Quite lovely!

Posted by Joe Cramer on 12/07/07 at 06:37 PM

Brilliant! (A new favorite for me!)

Posted by Mara Meade on 12/07/07 at 06:57 PM

Gentle, observant, empathetic. This is a beautiful witness...

Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 12/07/07 at 07:12 PM

Very good Jill, in construction and message. Five gold stars in my books. :o)

Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 12/07/07 at 09:07 PM

A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope.....this speaks to me of valor in the highest degree. Excellent, Jill. Thanks.

Posted by George Hoerner on 12/08/07 at 12:10 AM

Excellent work you should be proud!

Posted by Aaron Michael on 12/08/07 at 12:48 AM

beautiful work, as per usual.

Posted by Charles E Minshall on 12/08/07 at 05:32 AM

Unique and well done Jill.....Charlie

Posted by Kathleen Wilson on 12/08/07 at 07:34 AM

Unusual in form and content, brilliant on all accounfts. the gentle subtle shifts of language and wording, do delicatly placed, formulated. Beautiful, as if a lament, an ode, a love poem, a poem of war and peace. Of friendhip, strength, love.

Posted by Tony Whitaker on 12/08/07 at 08:13 AM

You are earth and earth is in you as in you are God and God is in you. Beautiful and I have learned another form, like inuendo dialogue?

Posted by Therese Elaine on 12/08/07 at 09:05 AM

Beautiful -and being a fan of Atlas Shrugged, the imagery is doubly pervasive to me. Wonderful writing as always!

Posted by Eli Skipp on 12/08/07 at 03:12 PM

o beautiful, o truly. this brings to mind such palpable qualities. love!

Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 12/08/07 at 03:20 PM

One reads and sees the shifting world's ideas and ideals, the clashes and meshings, the universal struggles, yet the "I"-"you" makes this oh, so personal. I weep and yet I will not let my hand close.

Posted by Laura Doom on 12/09/07 at 08:34 PM

As always, expect the unexpected :) A choice formatted in pre-destiny?...your home is ever close to the edge jill x

Posted by Dan Kasten on 12/09/07 at 10:02 PM

I do like this style. Very worthy of your #1 position. Dan

Posted by Mike Loftis on 12/10/07 at 12:42 PM

This poem simply reached out and touched me. Adding to my faves.

Posted by Frankie Sanchez on 12/11/07 at 08:48 PM

simply. perfect.

Posted by Laurie Blum on 12/12/07 at 03:33 PM

You have the best poetic ideas! I am enthralled.

Posted by Charlie Morgan on 12/13/07 at 08:57 PM

...elizaBeth Jill, gal this one walks...i love the positioning of the dyad de diff...really cool and dipped in Meaning...peace, chaz

Posted by Mara Meade on 12/14/07 at 11:08 AM

Back for another read and, on this day, to recognize your own strength.

Posted by Michelle Angelini on 12/16/07 at 07:49 PM

Your words carry a depth that goes beyond what's written. And they have all too much meaning in this war-torn world. Jill, I sense this comes from deep inside you - from a place of pain, where you long for change that may not come soon. Sensitive and beautiful.
~Chelle~

Posted by Jean Mollett on 04/23/08 at 03:04 AM

Hi Elizabeth, It's beautiful, written with much love, kindness, caring and compassion. Gentle loving heart. It warms the heart, mind, body, soul and spirit. A beautiful tribute, thoughts about soldiers. Even with the wars going on. You've still managed to bring out something wonderful, with such beauty. You're a breathe of fresh air, you are so ever blessed. So glad you're here. Lots of Hugs. :)

Posted by Kerowyn Rose on 01/14/09 at 12:28 AM

I agree with everyone's comments on this. I know I have read your poetry when I was on pathetic before. I love the presentation of this. You can read it as two seperate pieces, or one as the echo of the other (which is how I first read it, the stanzas in on the left were in a loud matter of fact voice in my head, the ones on the right a softer echo but with a slight change). Your writing is unique and wonderful. What a wonderful gift you have. :)

Posted by Joan Serratelli on 03/16/09 at 05:50 PM

This piece is nothng short of a masterpiece! I LOVE the positioning of the stanzas. EXTREMELY creative. You made your point quite clear. This is truly brilliant!

Posted by Ava Blu on 05/31/09 at 01:16 PM

The title drew me in and I was certainly far far from disappointment. I cannot add anything new. Just read all of the comments before this and realize how true they are.

Posted by Philip F De Pinto on 08/28/09 at 12:14 PM

there isn't a square inch in your library and in your heart wherein love and beauty do not reside. your words, like eye horns. are always there to assist my eyes to fit their meaning.

Posted by William Brunk on 09/30/09 at 10:13 PM

felt very personally...thank you. -great

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