Blue Monday
02/15/2010 03:25 p.m.
I am home again today; a four day weekend gifted to us by our principal. Our real vacation won't come until the end of March when I will have 10 full days to do absolutely nothing. Unless my daughter comes to visit and then I will be pushed out into the crowds (which I used to like a lot) and world in general. I didn't leave the apartment but once this weekend and that was only to walk to Garden of Eden to purchase some vegetables so I can continue to stay on this new eating plan I've started. I am almost always reluctant to leave the apartment these days. These dusty walls call to me constantly "stay here, stay here." Well, perhaps I am dramatizing it, but that's what it feels like. Am I depressed? I like to think not. I can pull myself up by my "bootstraps" (which my friend Margery who once very long ago worked in a rodeo says is impossible to do literally, go to work and socialize when invited. But if left to my own devices I will just stay within these walls, do little. I begin a task, then stop, then begin another. For four days, I have promised myself I would put this "writing room" in a semblence of order, so that I can continue to write. I think my resolve is always less than my energy allows. But today will be the day........perhaps.
I am currently Blue
I am listening to trucks on the street passing by