I'm tired of being young, but I don't want to grow old.
03/19/2010 05:21 a.m.
I purchased my first home today, and I have to say I feel accomplished. I'm just at a strange place in my life where the rebellious adolescent in me is saying F**** slowing down, and the more mature and practical, although still in development, part of me is saying "you have a good career, family life, and financial stability it's time to plant your roots in the ground." I just can't quite see myself drinking coffee and clipping out coupons in the Sunday paper in my bathrobe at 7:00 am petting the old golden retriever and yelling to my wife in the other room that diapers are half off at target. My visual still realistically tells me that I should wake up around 4:00 pm on Sunday hung over in half the clothes I wore last night on a young ladies sofa, with bed head and a five o clock shadow smelling of my finest cigarette and beer cologne. Yes, I am proud of myself, and of course I plan to live in my new three bedroom two bath home with a fenced in yard, I'm simply unsettled by the fact that I am getting older and maturing at a "normal" rate and the golden childhood days of dreaming big, partying hard, sleeping little, and playing the field (all of which I missed out on) are far behind me and never a possibility of retrieval in my one shot here at life as I know it. This inner controversy seams petty, to many but its driving me damn near mad, and taking the happiness out of my achievements. I am the pro and antagonist. Big freaking power struggle that is my sanity, eh?