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The Journal of John Herzog

CTA Blue Line (Division) & Adams/Wabash
12/19/2017 11:51 p.m.
These two poems are tied together, in a way. I wrote Blue Line as I'm coming to terms with the toxicity of my ex and his presence in my life, who moved me to Chicago to live with him and then broke up with me.

The hardest part of this experience was not having secured a stable job. I was stranded here. I see so much of my father in myself, who struggled with severe mental health problems as I do. After my parents' divorce and his relapse into narcotics addiction, he spent much of his remaining years homeless before his death in 2009. The story I recounted in Adams/Wabash is very much true, and a trauma I hadn't fully recognized until recently.

I started seeing him in the countless homeless people all around Chicago, and by extension, seeing myself and the potential futures that lay before me. It's gotten easier since I've found a solid full time job and my own place to live, but it is a specter that still haunts. I'm working on.

Most of my poems are tangible incarnations of the abstractions that swirl amount my mind. The poems in this series, are somewhat of the opposite; they are all like journal entries, direct and literal experiences of mine simply made abstract. Either way, this CTA series has so far been extremely therapeutic for me. Thank you for reading.

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