I wantsta quit
11/18/2008 03:13 a.m.
I'm sick of this. It's all too much. I've taken on too much. I'm going to college for English/writing, and I'm beginning to hate English/writing. I'm sure this is typical. Why me, too? I have too many novels to read, too many middle English epic poems to read, too many papers, too many movies to analyze. For the past few years, I figured I would try to earn money writing stories. I can't even do that anymore. I can't for the life of me think of something interesting to write about. I will buy your plots from you. Give me a plot, and I can write a great story. I have no plots anymore. People, places - I can describe those until I'm blue in the face. But what the hell do these people do in these places? Damned if I know.

I'm returning to poetry for now. I call myself a songwriter, too, but have all but abondoned writing songs (poems, same thing) over the past year. Sure, give me a guitar and I can come up with the music for ten songs in an hour, but my memory sucks and I forget it all anyway. (And my tape recorder broke.) All my ambitions, everything I wanted to do in life, my passions, I don't do. "I'll be a writer! I'll be a musician!" Yeah. Get to it, then, hoss.

I wish I could just listen/play music all day, and watch movies. I've had two Netflixes sitting here for like five weeks, and I don't even have time to watch them. I have a few hundred records I don't have the time to even give the first listen to. I've stopped buying records by the armload, but still don't have time to catch up.

I love people. I'd like to just hang out and talk for two or three days straight. But I don't have time for that. I only have time for the things I don't want to do.

I wish I could write a poem about this. Maybe I'll try harder.

I don't expect anyone's reading this, and if you are, wow, I'm sorry, but I'm new to the journal thing. And white screens don't say anything bad to you, so that's comforting. So this must be what LiveJournal is like. Hmmm... I'll stop now.

I just remembered I'm at work. I should work.
I am currently Disillusioned
I am listening to South San Gabriel