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Living with Dying
09/09/2012 05:59 p.m.
So once again I have the tight stomach thinking about a friend with terminal cancer. Before 50 I lived merrily along believing death was an OK thing, the natural, sacred end. Now every other year someone bites it close to me or a few steps of people away from me. I don't want this dear friend to die so young, to leave our fun times behind, to leave me behind. Maybe it's just all about wondering if I'm going to be the lone woman, like my grandma at 99, reading headstones, old letters, old poems. Man, if I lose my eyesight, I'll be a mess..... (smile) Charlie Minshall, I must keep your funny words closer to me now. Maureen Glaude - I must visit your beautiful tea garden more often.

I was at the big Art in the Park yesterday, roaming through wonderful artifacts made by actual human hands. Behind in one tent I heard a man talking quietly to someone - "so now we're in this kind of tent and to my left there is this kind of art," followed by great details of everything he was viewing. I turned around to see, of course, a blind woman on his arm. What a dear husband he is to do that. I, on the other hand, having seen many of those booths each year, skim along quickly until I come to a tent with something totally original to my mind's memory.

If I were blind, would I be able to call up those colors and shapes so easily? I can still see my dad's face clearly and even his body language, hear his voice if I tweak my mind just so. I am thankful for that after over 30 years gone.

Maybe it's all in the observation, the sitting still for more than a moment. I must look at my dear friend more closely now to remember all her details.

Member Comments on this Entry
Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 09/09/12 at 06:42 PM

Losing one's sight seems like the end...but you have the same capable heart (maybe more capable)and it's said love is blindness of heart; I say not to love is blindness. I add my empathy to yours for those who face such things.

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Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 09/09/12 at 06:42 PM

Losing one's sight seems like the end...but you have the same capable heart (maybe more capable)and it's said love is blindness of heart; I say not to love is blindness. I add my empathy to yours for those who face such things.

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Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 09/09/12 at 06:43 PM

Losing one's sight seems like the end...but you have the same capable heart (maybe more capable)and it's said love is blindness of heart; I say not to love is blindness. I add my empathy to yours for those who face such things.

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Posted by Gregory O'Neill on 09/09/12 at 06:43 PM

gee, how'd that happen......

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Posted by Colleen Sperry on 09/10/12 at 10:41 PM

goodbyes are so very painful.. especially when we know there will not be another hello.. however, what a blessing to have a life filled with so many that make those goodbye painful.. hugs hugs hugs

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Posted by Alison McKenzie on 09/14/12 at 12:08 AM

I can relate so well to your dismay at the increasing instances of losing friends and loved ones. Seems every week, now, another "someone" in my life passes. I'll be 50 in 12 days. And I'm guessing there will me more loss as we go along. *hugs* and comfort to you darling Idaho friend of mine. You are never far from my vagabond thoughts.

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Posted by Alison McKenzie on 09/14/12 at 12:12 AM

I can relate so well to your dismay at the increasing instances of losing friends and loved ones. Seems every week, now, another "someone" in my life passes. I'll be 50 in 12 days. And I'm guessing there will me more loss as we go along. *hugs* and comfort to you darling Idaho friend of mine. You are never far from my vagabond thoughts.

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Posted by George Hoerner on 09/19/12 at 12:25 AM

What can I say m'lady? I'm 3/4 going on 8/10 and don't think or that I want to reach 100. I've out lived my father by 20 years and my best friend growing up died about 10 years ago out in California. People say I write too much about death but I don't think so. I don't yet fear it. I don't havea faith that says I'll live on some place or another. I won't be missed by many out side of my immediate family. I will never be famous and none of this bothers me to speak of. I know I touched a few people and I'm not sure if it was for better or worse. I continue to write to get the words out of my system to the degree that I can. I enjoy your poetry and that is all I hope mine does for others. I know my wife and kids love me. My dogs do also and they know when I'm a little depressed. We still do camping and maybe some day I'll get out to the west coast again before I call it a day. I know your are carred for by people on this site and I know a few that care for me. I have a raft of poetry books to give away one of these days so maybe I'll spread them around pathetic. Take care m'lady and don't let a death weigh too much on you. I see it as part of the cycle of life.

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