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The Journal of Paganini Jones

Less than 24 hours to go
09/29/2007 09:48 a.m.
Or why, despite the lack of training I will still take part in the Great North Run.

What can I tell you? The training schedule went to pot some weeks ago. Tennis elbow followed by a week's holiday followed by my Father being admitted to hospital have all taken their toll. Obviously I am too easily distracted!

Dad 'fell' several times in the last 3 weeks. Two times he was taken to hospital by the ambulance crew called out to pick him up. The last time they came my mother was told my Dad would be discharged to respite care - she had had very little sleep because of caring for him in the night as well as during the day. When we went to visit him a few hours later we were told he was medically fit for discharge and had to take him home. In the end we did. He could hardly walk. His co-ordination was worse than ever and he was dragging his right foot. To us he looked like he had had a stroke but the hospital were convinced there was nothing wrong, and that my Mum was able to care for him.

That night Mum was taken ill. I still don't know whether she got the tummy bug doing the rounds or whether it was a result of the combined lack of sleep, stress, and distress of his discharge. Whatever the reason I took the day off work and went round to do basics like washing, dressing and feeding Dad. My first task was to get the bedroom door open. It was blocked by a heap of fallen books and Dad. Mum was curled on the bed feeling rotten and running a slight temperature.

That morning I picked Dad off the floor three more times. I also made a complaint to the hospital about his discharge, and talked to social services about possible respite care. I then got Dad admitted to hospital again and finally convinced staff that there was something wrong, and that even if they thought there wasn't, that it was unsafe to discharge him home where he had fallen so many times in one morning.

You'll be glad to know that Mum is much better. Dad has now been in hospital a week. Since the mini stroke he may or may not have, had he has become fully incontinent, unable to walk even at his usual slow shuffle and almost unable to find words. He sleeps a lot. Staff are trying to teach him to walk using a walking frame (walker). He dislikes it and gets cross that they want him to do so. He wants to walk unaided. So there have been a couple of falls in hospital.

This afternoon Mum went to visit him. He politely enquired who she was. She told him and he seemed pleased she was there. At the end she reminded him of her name. He tried very hard to remember who that name was but it meant nothing to him. Six days ago it was their fifty-seventh wedding anniversary. She feels abandoned and bereft.

At the moment I cry every day at the little losses, and because of the grief I would turn away from my Mum if only I could but can't. And so I will 'run' on Sunday. I'll probably cry a lot then too, but hopefully nobody will notice. I'll do it because the Alzheimer's Society needs every penny to help other people like my Mum and Dad and to campaign for drugs to be available to everyone who would benefit. Dad has deteriorated so much faster since the took him off the medication because he didn't meet the required points.

I'll run on Sunday because my Mum is proud to tell people I am doing so, and will look out for me in TV. And I'll do so because when my Mum told Dad about it today, even though he didn't know who she was and probably remembers me as a child if at all, he laughed at the idea. He's right. It is pretty funny! What on earth do I think I am doing? And what a daft way to raise money, don't you think?

Look out for me. I'm number 48150 - probably the one near the back, coming in after about 4 hours. Sponsor me if you can and think it a good idea. And whatever, give a wave and cheer as I pass.

www.justgiving.com/heatherandpete
I am currently Sad

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