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I'm not dead yet!
01/25/2004 08:56 p.m.

I realize I haven't posted anything in quite a while -- I've been rather obsessed with prose lately.

But this entry isn't to explain my whereabouts.  Its just an observation I've made.  Counting my poems not on pathetic, the majority of my writing is about two subjects--my brother(mostly his illness) and the mountain I grew up on.  After posting a few poems about the mountain, I've heard other stories about people's childhood places being destroyed or commercialized over time.

One of my major goals for the future was to buy back my old house and to try to restore things to the best of my ability.  But I'm starting to think, perhaps I should move on.  Perhaps this is part of the progression of life.  Somethings will be damaged beyond repair.

Would it be best to stop visiting and let the place live on in my mind?  Through visiting, I keep witnessing this artificial entropy (yes, I know that's an oxymoron), and it is driving me crazy.  Can it really be stopped?  Should I stop forcing myself to see it?

Or maybe I just need a new mountain...


I am currently Nostalgic

Member Comments on this Entry
Posted by Rula Shin on 01/29/04 at 10:18 PM

I think the old mountain should live on forever beautiful in your mind, and that will not happen if you keep watching it's demise. Yet I know how hard it must be to hold back from seeing this precious part of your life now left in tatters. But as you said, your home will never be the same even if you rebuild it. The way I see it is that in rebuilding and living there again you may lose some of the vibrant nostalgia you presently carry with you through memories and associations. I just thought I'd share my feelings on this because my brother had always wanted to do the same, rebuy the house we grew up in and rennovate it - but making new memories in a house filled with old ones...I just don't know if I would want to do that :-)

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