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The Journal of Carl Walker faith vs freecell --loosing "read this first"
03/16/2008 01:11 p.m.
Yeah, my spirit's kinda puny. I want to withdraw from the arena and forget about the fight.
so I guess I'll go pray about that. what I need is a faith that can turn to Christ when I feel like this and be honest with Him about what I need. I can ask Him for a different feeling or for a faith that can press on through this feeling.
What I observe so often is that when people don't feel a connection with God or a disconnection with prayer that they do what they feel. They withdraw, I do too --too much.
One time I was whining to God about all this --there were some things I wanted to pray about and I just couldn't seem to get it together to pray --I just felt no oompa in prayer, just flat,
"God, I just don't have any faith to pray. I just don't have any faith to pray about my need for faith, or my need to feel a connection with you".
being a bapterian-ist, I don't generally hear audible answers (never have yet) but I do get distinct impressions
"Michael, you just don't have any faith?"
"No, Sir"
"None at all?"
"no, Sir"
"you're talking to me"
"Well, yeah, that is some faith"
"How much faith did I tell you that you had to have?"
I'm starting to feel excited, "just a wittle, wittle bit"
"You bring your little bit of faith, you keep talking to me and we'll work this out together"
and He does
So that is some days and I'm trying to get on board with that today
pray for me
| Member Comments on this Entry |
| Posted by A. Paige White on 03/16/08 at 03:10 PM I have really enjoyed your last two posts with this topic! Another thing we have to be reminded of is that we must contend for the faith. There is a thief loose on this spinning ball of mud that has always attacked our belief, our memories of what God has spoken to our innermost beings and his favorite and his first missile was "has God really said?..." Then if we remember it correctly he tries to insinuate that God lies. you won't surely die, you'll be like Him...well, facts are what they are. we die. now thanks to listening to his noxious lies. I know what you mean about not being able to reach through that brassy seeming heaven and just believe my prayers are heard. Because we still have a tendency to think we have to earn His grace on some deeper level. So... here's my little prayer for you sweetie. (I'm not fond of saying oh i'll pray for you, when i can just do it now!)Heavenly Father, I ask you to give (michael?carl?) an inner vision of the open heavens you have proclaimed to us for this year of 2008. I ask only in the assurance of your word that we may boldly approach your throne of grace to obtain mercy because we are sprinkled with the blood of the perfect one and everything in the heavenlies has been sprinkled by the blood of the lamb you sent to us. I ask you to begin this day to draw nearer to him and let a host of your suddenlies make their presence known to him in ways he never thought of before. Please bless his entire household and cause your praise to increase in their lives. In Jesus name, that He might receive the reward for the travail of His soul that you promised Him, Amen.
Have a wonderful Sonday! |
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