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letter about loving the guy who stole my speakers
02/04/2004 03:52 p.m.

http://www.invernessvineyard.org/salvation.html

Andrew,

the grace and peace of God to you. I always enjoy talking with you, your honesty and questions challenge me to think through things.

I don't think I've sent this to you already, I'm not sure, so I'm sending it now.

So many people languish their lives away seeking happiness when what really satisfies is fulfillment. Fulfillment comes from, rather than seeking things FROM people and circumstances, seeking things FOR people and circumstances; and that takes effort and sacrifice. I am finding a wonderful liberty from expecting others to gratify me but rather when I serve (I'm not talking about being stupid, or "soft love" just trying to give everyone what they think they want) seeking something for people but expecting very little in retrun (i do expect a promise of fruit, which is giving from others that they want to give, expecting little in return).

I'm sure you've heard about all the things Pete has stolen from me. Well, he's calling me from jail. Consider this, when I set aside my desire to receive from Pete enough respect that he doesn't rob me, when I set aside my desire to be gratified in some way by Pete and I pursue loving Pete jsut as he is even if he never changes. Well to love Pete (for me) means getting God involved. When God gives me a love for Pete it gives me wonderful peace. I no longer have a lot invested in not being robbed or the loss I've suffered. I can rest in God to give me what I need. It also makes me connected with God, I feel a wonderful sense of His presence for I know I cannot give up my idols of self love without His help. When I love Pete, according to the Bible, when I give my life away expecting nothing I recieve everything. I recieve a power from on high to minister and see people freed from bondage. It brings me emotionally and spiritually into a place where I can relate to my world in a way that give fulfillment. I can love Patricia and my granddaughter, etc. in ways that sets them free. I couldn't buy that but I can participate, and when I see my sacrifice bear fruit in the lives of others it fulfills me and brings me into a circle of love with others that is incomparable.

By releasing people from my demands and expectations it brings me into a circle where people love me (sometimes maybe, but it is not required) and give with an incomparable freedom and grace. But first I must die to self.

that is where this stuff I'm sending you leads me, I'd be interested to know what you think of it.

my mood is wondreously liberated


I am listening to --

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