10.15.08
10/15/2008 08:39 p.m.
Today is just an eck kind of day.

My oldest son didn't want to get up this morning... I woke him up at 5 am, and 5:10, and 5:30, and FINALLY at 6:00 he gets up (we have to leave at 6:30 to get him to school on time).

So, I wake up at 5:00 am and make a bottle for Mo (she's got a tooth now so no more nursing). At 5:40 she's satisfied so I hop into the shower and start getting dressed; get her diaper bag together for the day, including the makings for a bottle because it's going to be a late day.

At 6:15 my son tells me he is taking the PSAT today, so we have to stop and get him something caffineated to help him stay focused today. At 6:30 we're loaded up and heading out. We get to his school at 7 am, Mo begins fussing/crying/screaming when he gets out, and continues to do it until we get a block from her daycare, at which point she's asleep.

Leave her off at daycare, go to work, and then my day get's mucky. By the end of the day I felt de-valued. It's a long story, but to try to shorten it, I feel that if I've been working for the same employer for 10 years and they send a memo out with my name attached (it was about inservice dates that teachers need to attend), the very least they can do is copy my (married)name correctly in the memo! If names like Dulski, Seay, Jernigan, Gwananji and Haavikko are spelled correctly why can't Jaeger be spelled properly? ok, maybe it's a minor thing, but it was just the icing on the cake for me! I got off work about 4:30, picked up baby girl, went to pick up big brother, had to hit the drive-thru to feed him (it's now 5:30, he's not eaten since noon, and he's just finished 2 hours of swim practice) and the rain starts coming down in sheets! I mean you can't see the road 10 yards in front of you! We go by the house, check on the other son and head to the 6:30 appt. At this point I'm having to drive through high water (in a Saturn)which is ok, except for the large SUV's coming too fast in the opposite direction throwing their waves and wake all over the top of me (ignorant fools)! After the appt. we get home about 8:00, I feed baby her food, giver her a bath and change her for bed, and top her off with a bottle. Finally about 9:30 she's in bed, and I am trying to get online to check into my class and do school work... the rain has temporarily knocked the DSL out, and it's 10:30 before I get to do any of that. At 11:30, I call it quits, I've had enough! I crawl into bed and pass out... until I awake for no reason at 3 am, then to the alarm at 5 am. This has become the cycle of my life this year... a cycle that is gradually wearing me down and out; a cycle that I would like to change, but I don't know how and feel powerless to do so, because I HAVE to meet my responsibilities towards my family, job and school. I don't have the answers and I'm not even sure I'm bothering to look for them anymore.
I am currently Frustrated