My knuckles were getting cold.
Purple had replaced the fleshy skin tone
in my hands a good 20 minutes earlier.

All around her car
were shards of ice and snow that looked like dust
as it danced in little spiral patterns across the road.

I took my scraper
to the last of the ice on her driver side window,
adding shards to the piles on the ground.

I remember thinking
"It's a good thing I take care of this girl,
cuz she sure as hell can't."
I mean, the snow and ice had
been there for 3 days.
She'd only cleared a little space
to see out the windshield.
"Damn girl's gonna get herself killed."

Stepped back to look at a job well done.

Got in my truck.
The green numbers on the dashboard said
"2:46am"
I never know if that clock is right,
what, with my battery connection being so shotty, and all.
But it felt like 3am.
It felt like 8 degrees.

I drove off,
with fan belts whirring loudly,
needing to be replaced.
I thought back on the night.
She wanted me to lay with her.
But I didn't.
I laid in the other bed.
I wanted to lay next to her.
But I didn't.

I wanted to touch her,
but aside from a few friendly taps
when the one insulted the other
we didn't touch.

I then said out loud
"It's pathetic that one of the few things left in my life
that has any meaning whatsoever
is making sure her car is ice and snow free."
My eyes started to warm up.

I can't touch you
but I can touch your car.
I can't take care of you
but I can take care of things around you.

Situation and coincidence
have split us down the center.
We'll never be together.
But damn it if I'm not going to do my best
to indirectly affect you
as positively as I can.

03/03/2007

Author's Note: Yeah, cliche', trite, yadda yadda. But something that needed to be handled in a fashion other than my own brooding on the topic.

Posted on 03/03/2007
Copyright © 2010 Nickolas Crosby