I envelop myself in sand
and I hope it could swallow me,
but I can’t dig deep enough
and the suffocation is stifled.
I can see my toes above the surface
wiggling with spasm to release
themselves from the weight
I’ve taken on.

And when I pull myself from the
grasp of beach and tide, my toes
remain uncovered, unblemished,
unadorned with the grains that seep
into the crevices of my body
and weaken my breath.

It is they who carry me
to the bathhouse to find a
shower. It is they who take me
to the wardrobe where I dress.
It is they who create my movement
and force me forward with inch-steps,
twitches, convincing me with wiggles
that I should continue further.

I miss the sand some days,
the feeling of my toes above the surface;
for when I stand upright
the weight of all my burdens
falls to my toes.

05/12/2005