You never really...
01/26/2009 11:48 p.m.
You never really know a person.

Those words are resonating with me now
More than I ever thought they would.

Fuck you, too.

Comments (0)

Agony in her body
01/20/2009 12:19 a.m.
Agony in Her Body

by Elizabeth Seago
I'm not sure what I want anymore.
A good fuck, and a cigarette
Perhaps.

Not a life story
Settling at the bottom of
An appletini.

I don't want a Blackberry or an iPhone.
Maybe a Fake ID.
(For the girl constantly bitching about a lack of honesty.)

Maybe I'd want to see you again.
Without a hotel and a schedule.
Although your cock has a tendency
To stir up
Settled emotions.
Stretching my heart to
Slip over your
Broad shoulders.

Like a one piece bathing suit.

Maybe I'd want to
Go home with a stranger tonight.
But he'd better display a hardon
Before we run out on the tab
Because I'm not putting my reputation on the line
For 5 inches.

Maybe I want to
Stay at home with a glass of wine and a
Joint.
Listening to Nina Simone and Ani DeFranco,
While reading Bukowski in my
Underwear.

Maybe I'd want to
Feel something genuine
Flush through my veins.
Maybe I'd want to further investigate
Why I blush when you
Approach me and
Why you think my clumsiness is endearing.

Bring you home to my
Huxtable family.
With awful cable net sweaters and
Sucessful, happily married parents.

Maybe I want to be a parent.

Maybe I already am a parent.
Nursing your hangover or broken heart.
Often times, both.

Maybe I'll end it all.
Maybe I have too much to live for.

Excuse me, I seem to have misplaced my potential,
Did I leave it on your bedroom floor?



I just don't know what I want anymore.











"And I'm swimming up hill

I'm fighting a tide of mudslide and blood spilled

Until I've got a shirt off my back

And a girl on attack on top with a curled lip

The world map is our bed sheet

We share geography now

I explore virgin territory

Squeaky seats acting as a mating call

Nothing on my but her and didn't feel naked at all

Ever feel the need to keep it so real you feed yourself into her hunger and don't care if she bleeds

Asking all these questions aint highly recommended

They'll eventually get answered if you put time in the friendship
That is if what you're doing is helping and it's not like you know until you uh…



Reach the ending
She wanted my agony agony agony agony in her body"


--Sage Francis - Agony in her body
I am currently Detached
I am listening to Sage Francis - Agony in Her Body

Comments (1)

d
01/04/2009 11:50 p.m.
For the first time in quite some time, my lovelife has seemingly (knock on wood) come to a bit of a lull. My heart has exhaled deeply and is catching her breath. I'm able to wade in a pool of serenity for a bit. For the first time in a very long time, my preference would sincerely be the single life for awhile. Going about my life as I wish, without the constant worry of letting someone else down. And not having to worry about the person I'm with keeping up with me. Sure, I'll date here and there. The occasional walk on the beach or night out on the town. I enjoy the company. But my heart appreciates the breather for now.


caio!

Comments (0)

She's not a girl who misses much...
12/08/2008 07:08 p.m.
"She's not a girl who misses much..." Except the ones I've had to say goodbye to. It seems as though lately life is one grotesque culmination of goodbyes.

I saw you out of the corner of my eye,
Watching me walk away
Months ago.
You knew I wouldn't be back until our
Final goodbye,
But I sincerely hadn't seen this coming.
I didn't see you leaving so abruptly.

And I'm sorry I couldn't face you.
That once you picked me up and dusted me off,
I didn't need you anymore.

That I fled the scene once I
Caught word of your plans to
Finally escape.

I suppose I took the easy route.
Dissappeared as soon as I could,
So to spare myself the pain of stretching the limbs
Of a two syllable word across a span of
Months.

I opted to run
Because it was so hard to face the word.

And here I am,
Holding back tears
While holding a dear friend
Forcing the sound of it from my bowels.

And I've cheated myself of
Time ; Memories.

And for that I'll always be sorry.





I am currently Helpless
I am listening to Stars of Track and Field - With You

Comments (1)

ugh
10/17/2008 11:37 p.m.
Everybody knows when snapping a group picture,
It's always great to hop next to the fat chick.
You're guaranteed to look good.

Obviously it didn't even matter wether or not
I put makeup on because my
Chest was your focal point for the evening.

Figured if I dyed my hair red
And plucked my eyebrows just right,
I'd attract a different grade of guy.

No, I'm not going home with you. Get your hands off of me.

Comments (1)

back?
09/10/2008 11:22 p.m.
You're not really back, are you?

You know, you're all the same.

Pretty promises wrapped in
Charming smiles.

I'll give your gender one thing though,
You're really good at looking out for yourself.

And that's about it.

Comments (0)

oh my god.
09/06/2008 12:32 p.m.
Um. Wow.

So, you're back.

You're back?

After all that time, after everything.

Here you are, waltzing into my life.

I've dreamt about this moment for so long, and I don't know what to say to you.

How can I convey everything I've felt in words? Letters and vowels and synonyms fall short.

All the pain you've put me through, yet all the love i've held in my heart for you.

I want to slap you. And then I just want you to hold me.



And why the hell did you shave your head? This is alot harder than I'd pictured.

Comments (0)

Work in Progress...
08/17/2008 12:19 a.m.
I'm starting to realize that I have alot to work on. Alot.

I need to stop pouring all my time into other people. Stay home once and awhile. Read a book. Listen to a good record. Spend time with myself. Get reacquainted with my own mind. I forget how nice that is.

I need to be a better daughter. Make time for my mother, regardless of how dysfunctional/unhealthy we may be. Maybe that's why it's so twisted. Because I haven't made the time to repair our relationship. I try and I get frustrated and I walk away. And I need to work on that, in particular.

You see, in some aspects, I'm a trooper. Relationships, Friendships, Jobs. I'll see it through until the very end. But when it comes to things like school or family I throw in the hat way too early.

I need to not get entangled in seemingly delicious romantic affairs. I've got all I need right now. I have company, companionship, sex. No ties, no nothing. It's the bare essentials to get me by and I am sincerely happy in that. I need to spend more time getting to know myself before I can let myself get lost in someone else.


I need a second job, or I need to go to school. I can't do both at the same time, but one of them needs to happen soon. I'm so torn in this, because I can barely pay my bills as of late. But I'm really feeling as though school could be such a great adventure for me right now. Just take a couple of classes when my schedule allows. Meet some new friends. Learn some things about the world. Something.



Iwanttorunmindlesslythroughthepinesofsomeunchartedforestinayellowsundress, the suns rays dancing along my shoulders. Play tag with the wind and rustle up the leaves with my feet.




I'm coming to grips with the fact that it's never fair. And it never really makes sense. At least not right yet. And it shouldn't yet.

"Sunday Comics. When I was a little kid, I use to put my face right up to them, you know, um, and I was just amazed because it was just this mass of dots, I think life is like that sometimes. But I like to think that, from God's perspective, life, everything - even this... it makes sense. It's not just dots. And instead we're all connected, and it's beautiful and it's funny and it's good. From this close we, we can't expect it to make sense, right now." --Latter Days






I am listening to Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire

Comments (0)

She's Stupid.
07/29/2008 01:09 a.m.
He tried.
He tried so hard
And she let those big blues pass her by.
She froze up, and although her friends can attest-
She isn't quite shy...

She couldn't breathe all too well,
And she knows, oh she knows.

She always had a tendency to back out
Ontop of that big ol' water slide.
I am currently Stupid
I am listening to My head banging against a wall.

Comments (0)

There's Not A Word Yet For Old Friends Who've Just Met...
07/09/2008 08:54 p.m.
Sir Matthew,


Often, all of this feels like a dream.
And I'm waking up to a big empty.

I'm seeing dragonflies everywhere I turn and
Upon research I've learned that they represent a
Mature awakening ; a renewal.
Is that what you need before you can come back to me?
Was that another sort of sign I didn't pick up on?

I want to run into your arms again
And have you twirl me around like a little girl.
Throw me on the bed and make me giggle as you
Blow raspberries on my tummy in some crummy motel.

I want to venture off the paths Ausable Chasm laid out for us again.
Find deeper meaning in acorns and
Play with your silky brown curls
Which always smelled of lavender And graced me with a sense of calm I didn't know existed.

I want to look into your big brown eyes
and I want an explanation.

I want to know why you hopped on that cliche
Bus with all the rest of them and left me here
To kick the dirt and curse the temporary.

This is the letter I won't send to you Because I know your responses to be non-existent.


All My Love,
Lady Elizabeth
I am currently Detached
I am listening to Joe Purdy - Rainy Day Lament

Comments (0)

Next 10 Entries