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The Journal of Ryan Bauer School is almost out
05/14/2004 08:49 p.m.
Wahoo... 1 more full week and half a week to go. I hope that I can pull up my grade out of an F from what activities we do in chemistry... I absolutely suck at any kind of math, and so it hurts that grade...but I am good at science without math. I took poetry class this year and it was not very challenging except for my sonnet, and it forced me to write some poems, when otherwise I wouldn't feel like it, but it was for class.. hehe. It will also be the end of autocad that is all kind of a self teach class..., and pottery II, and zoology(fun.....dissected like 10 animals) English is in there too, but it is a crazy class where the teacher doesn't have any premade assignments, basically they are all on notebook paper and the teacher picks any old number he wants for the amount of points they are worth...(those kinds of classes are so...pointless) I laid on the floor for an hour, looking at the ceiling fan and then at the colors on my eyelids from the sunlight...then I went outside and did that. Wow is it fun to make yourself feel like you are high when you really aren't... the rush of blood out of your head is the best part when you get up. :D I wish it would rain....
I am currently Refreshed
I am listening to American Pie
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Life
04/11/2004 01:52 a.m.
I feel like something is missing from my poems. Not that that is the subject of this entry{if anything}, but I just want to say that I know there is something missing. I hope to find, nurture, and exercise it.
*blank minute*
I love to ride in a vehicle and recieve so much input and inspiration from the world outside... I think about so many poetic elements and I realize it as I am thinking it and it is so wonderful. I can never quite resurrect that spark anywhere else... I feel sad anywhere else. I feel hurt, I feel a subtraction of worth. Sometimes I can see why people like my poetry, and other times that sight falls away, and I wonder if calling it poetry is too generous.
My online friend I usually talk to hasn't been on for weeks and I'm not very adept at writing a personal email.
*finds more random thoughts*
Sometimes I wish someone else could live my life...... instead of me.
I don't know why I am writing this; it is late{even though I think best at night}, and this site is having problems like its going to crash any day.
*sigh*
Now I have to change 'listening to'... jk.
*blank 5 minutes*
Ok, my brain officially stopped responding.
'Night.
I am currently Sad
I am listening to Matchbox 20: Unwell
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School
02/23/2004 07:42 p.m.
The past week or so, I had to complete a poster in Astronomy class, which I like very much...
I worked on it a Thursday night(it was due Friday, and the speeches were Friday and Monday, today) until around 3:30 in the morning, decided I wasn't feeling well{mentally} and so I went through my free day and weekend, joining pathetic recently and getting into it more. Then, Sunday night I worked on my project again until 11:30 pm. I was soo tired and I don't have any printer ink right now so I had to organize everything onto a floppy. In the morning(today), I drank some coffee brew(nasty) so I could stay awake at school. I got to school real early{thanks in part to my brother, other part thanks to his job}, then worked on the media center teacher's computer for about all of 45 minutes{and then some[got a pass]} before classes started. I picked up the art teachers papers she printed to the media color laser printer(only one at school), to sweeten the deal{how do I know if she would get mad?(actually she did misspell the word China in The China Painters in a thank you note and spelled it cihna}. Then, I worked all first two periods(of 7 in the day) both in her class, art classes 2-D studio and painting. She let me use her computer and printer(black and white) to figure out the html addresses I typed out. I barely got it done in time though{I still love learning about space, though I'm slow} and the coffee made me have to run to Astronomy{if you know what I mean}. So I got there, listened to a few peoples projects{the rest did it on Friday :P} and then went up there, read from the paper I printed out(the first paragraph on my poster{of 5}) somewhat casually{and red faced} and really for the first time felt good about giving a presentation{I got more comforable, showing people something new}. I even ended the speech with "So, I think its pretty cool." Here is the neat picture from my poster- http://sirtf.caltech.edu/Media/releases/ssc2004-02/release.shtml
Then I guess I had some fun talking to the counsellor about my schedule next trimester and next year{I have to hand in the request form on Wednesday(early morning)}. Then I got a 3 ring binder for the "Book of Stupid and Catch-22 Quotes"(my title) from the study hall teacher(what a relief). Then when I was walking in the hall to Homeroom class, a girl walking in front of me dropped a wad of bills and I gave it to her and told her she had dropped it(not because people were watching, but because I'm nice.{people (strange people) cheered my nickname}) I had fun showing my friends the Quotes in English class{they were in the media center}. And when we came back there was a bottle of white out exploded all over the teachers desk and floor. Some kids other than me had to clean it up. No school tomorrow, YAY! :D
I am currently Reflective
I am listening to ultrasonic whine
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Writing
02/22/2004 06:01 p.m.
Last night I was inspired by the sunset when I went outside and I wrote a poem for 3 hours really late because I knew I wouldn't get it right in the morning, so last night(real early this morning), I wrote the poem "The Great Sky Ocean".
Its about being stuck on this earth with the miserable state of society. I always feel great when I'm creating the poems, but afterwards I feel like they are ok, and not great, but I don't feel as good as I did when I was in the process of writing it.
I am currently Random
I am listening to cat language
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